The Peace That Roars
For the Enneagram Nines
I am the whisper between worlds
The hush before history speaks
The quiet ink in the margins of noise
I am Nine
Mediator
Peacemaker
The sacred stillness you don’t notice
until it’s gone
Don’t confuse my quiet
with absence
I’ve been here
levelling space
bridging gaps
appeasing and pleasing
while pieces of me
drift away like smoke
Being invisible
is my deepest wound
neither heard
nor seen
in the cacophony of louder voices
As a young’in
my presence was optional
as long as the room stayed calm
I became the rhythm
that soothed the storm
the one who dimmed
so others could shine
while this cycle deepened
my silent anger
I’m blind to losing myself
while striving to keep peace
convinced it only exists coz of me
but instead it’s in spite of me
Blending in with the wall
til I forget
what I want
or who I am
vanishing in compromise
disappearing in agreement
I’m adept at adapting to adapt
Numbing my gut
to being fully alive
I mute the roar
til it’s barely a squeak
I narcotise
not with substance
with routine
distractions
comfort
“I am ok, if you’re ok”
But I’m not ok
And it’s not ok
To say I’m not ok
Harmony at all costs
even if I’m paying
even if I never say
what burns in my bones
coz conflict is unbearable
actually, it’s dangerous
Losing balance on eggshells
I’ll dance around friction
wrapping it in soft tones
and gentle whispers
while inside me
fire spits in fire pits
Fixated on indolence
not laziness,
a spiritual slumber
a forgetting
a slow drift away from my truth
until my light has gone out
Numerous demands
feeling pushed and pulled
in brittle tension
like my soul is in a tug-of-war
watch me flare up
Waking up my inner witness
I poke the bear
Hibernating in my chest
Stretching to 3
I speak
I act
Stepping into vision with a spine in my voice
I release to 6
and own my power in community
anchored and awake.
I’m learning
It’s holy to say yes to me
no more drifting
no more sleeping through my own becoming.
Naming my needs
Speaking my desires
Writing myself into the narrative
I always edited myself out of
Owning the change
from silence to expression
I am Nine
I am the peace that roars
Not the absence of conflict
but the presence of purpose.
My voice is not an afterthought
It is the anthem
The groundnote
The sacred ‘yes’ that shakes the earth
and the steady ‘no’ that heals the soul.
